Sorry. I am still alive, for better or worse. Just having trouble finding words lately. And to speak of my largest concerns of the moment would either require extreme delicacy or a torrent of words i would almost certainly come to regret. Suffice to to say that while i can be genuinely thrilled at the unexpected good fortune of others, and i am, truly, my feelings regarding my own present situation are, um....not good. And I am facing the highly uncomfortable notion that unless I succeed in changing certain entrenched tendencies in myself, this situation could well be permanent.
On a more cheerful note, however, it does encourage me greatly to see dear friends finding richly deserved happiness. Its nice, every so often, to be reminded that life has nice surprises for us, to go with all the ones of the other kind. In a world that too often seems fractured, cold, disappointing and malisciously random, it has to give you hope to see things working out in a way that just seems, well, right. If one believes that our lives are steered, which, at the bottom of me, i still do, you have to shake your head at the strange ways things work, beyond all possibilty of prediction. That part makes me sit back and smile.
And being able to smile for others, at this point, may save me. For the moment.
I still so owe this blog an explanation of that China comment, though i suspect that by now anyone who actually bothers to read this has heard more than enough about China from me in person. I also promised Chuck my life story to go with it. Give me a bit on that one, mate.
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Do you write your own addresses or was that completely adlibbed? It's good to konw that you are more eloquet than the other state-of-the-union-address-giver...although I guess that doesn't say much.
Anyway, good to have you back on the digital pages.
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