This is what i think of your little game of Tag...

For all of you who must commute more than half a block to school/work and thence might not be enjoying this glorious frostiness as much as I am, I give you this:

So I’ve been tagged. First the sheep, and now this. One day, I’m minding my own business with my irrelevant little blog of idle musings, and then …BAM! Suddenly I’m in a dark room, tied to a chair, staring into the bright light , forced to divulge my deepest, darkest secrets. My Mother was right – the internet is dangerous.
Oh, the merciless law of tag. Ancient as grade school, and just as inescapable. If only there were some way to simply…ignore it. But once, I deleted this forward I was supposed to send to 10 friends, and… ok, nothing at all happened and it sure as hell wasn’t just once, but the point is…I’ve been tagged. The die is cast. My fate is sealed.The problem is ….I’m having trouble coming up with 5 things that no one knows about me. All the “shocking” truths that come to mind are old news to the two- and- a- half known readers of this blog. My life is an open book. I have no secrets.

Well ...there MIGHT be ONE thing …maybe two. Ok, there’s at least a dozen. But I’m not dumb enough to plaster any of those all over the internet. That’d be ridiculously stupid. There are some secrets you carry with you to the grave. Like that time in Istanbul, in ’79, with the weather balloon, the midgets, the unicycle and the bag of nitroglycerin… (shudder).

Let’s see…Surprising (but safe) things that nobody knows about me….hmm. Everybody knows I was detained by the police in China for “illegal religious activities” (that in itself sounds pretty dodgy, doesn’t it?) But my Kung-Fu was stronger than theirs, and I escaped. Everybody knows I met Mother Teresa in Calcutta in 1996. (I’m not sure if everyone knows she took me for nearly 500 rupees in the poker game at the leper colony, and…aw, but that’s not a very interesting story. Never mind. )

So, The game is “List 5 things people don’t know about you”, and Deuces are wild.
Ok, here goes…


1. I have a crush on someone.

2. I have a crush on someone else. (hee hee! TWO crushes at the same time! On different people! Now I’m nearly as scandalous and revealing as Ali and Jen! Take that!)

3. I…really AM a sheep. Baaaa.

4. Stop that! Get your own blog, you wooly bastards!

5. I…now that’s completely blown my concentration. I can’t work in these conditions!


All right, I admit I wasn’t taking that entirely seriously. I will try it again. Five things people hopefully don’t know about me, as follows:


1. While I may appear a perfectly healthy person with many, many months left to live… I have you all fooled. It’s true. I…have an irregular heart beat.

2. In Kindergarten we were practicing our numbers and I asked the girl next to me the right way to do “4”. It didn’t look right to me, so I scribbled it out. Discovering my scribble, the teacher became enraged, grabbed me by the ear and snarled “Did YOU do that?” I was scared and, like the first man and all subsequent ones, I blamed the girl, and she got in trouble instead. The guilt still keeps me up at night.

3. I am a 600 year old immortal. (Well, not really. But I used that one once on this blonde girl Dave was hitting on, and said it with such a straight face that she believed me. For about 20 seconds.)

4. I have absolutely no originality and like to follow the crowd wherever it goes. My fleece is also exceptionally white and fluffy.

5. ... Have I mentioned my “secret” fondness for MUTTON KABABS!?



Sigh.


TAG RESPONSE - TAKE 3: Real, at least PARTIALLY unknown facts, accompanied by a solemn promise to stop goofing around (and NO SHEEP!)






(echoing silence)