Well.....here we go.

You never do know, when you start a day, just where you're going to end up by the time its over. None of my plans, none of my imaginings for this day, or even this week, would have put me in THIS place. Normally, in a situation like this, when i've come out and said things I meant to hold on to, or really, anytime i find myself, breathless and vaguely bewildered, on the other side of a decision already made, i am immediately seized with panic. Terrified by it's DONE-ness, its irreversibility. Second guessing. A crippling dread that by taking an enticing possibility,calling its bluff, and daring it to become actual - that by doing so I have stepped off the edge into the whirlwind.

Inertia...momentum..motion...force overcoming friction. Any change of state requires an unbalance in the forces, which feels to me like a loss of control...

But today, i'm not afraid. I'm working out what we have to lose, and its not really that much. And the possible gains? well...