I have been collectively berated ( as in, berated along with many others) for posting infrequently ... for which i apologize. It is not entirely true that i have nothing to say...or even that i'm unfathomably busy- after all, my only gainful employment right now is at an internet cafe...but when you type as slow as i do, a sizeable post can be an entire evening's work- but i'm just making excuses. Truth be told, i don't like to talk about myself- even to myself. I quit journalling ( for the most part) because i was reading past journals and found myself whining about the same things over and over again, and even repeating the same "insightful" observations on life- i found it discouraging, a reminder of lack of progress, of growth, in certain areas, and in reading old journals i experienced distaste similar to what many feel when they hear their voice on tape...Am i really that annoying? Am i that self important? Some old journals DO, i admit, reveal a more honest, living faith than i currently practice- which is troubling- but book after book of them are also full of blind wishful thinking and me parroting "Christian" self-help drivel. Yeccch.
Before someone saw fit to create a blog for me, i had thought that, if i had a blog, i would use it to stick up portions of my stories, or other writings, for some instant criticism and response. But the story i am currently labouring on is both too personal and too recent ( and not far enough removed from recognizible reality) for a broad, public airing, which is a pity, because i would love feedback on it. So this is a blog about how i don't know what to blog ...
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